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Mirage Coaster
Dealing with Fake Friends
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Dear Mirage,

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I’m currently in a place where my friends haven’t reached out to me in weeks and the reason I haven’t contacted them is because I realized that I won’t fight to keep this friendship alive if they wouldn’t and are not doing the same. I’ve come to the epiphany after a little Baby Yoda meme came to me scrolling through Twitter and enlightened me just by seeing his cute little face, that I was the driving force in my friendship and if I wasn’t fighting to hang out with them then we would’ve stopped being friends ages ago. Thanks Baby Yoda, you showed me what cuteness is and how lonely I truly am. One time recently, I took a day off, the only day off I had that week to kick it with my “best friend” at the time and they didn’t show up until five hours later because they either made plans over our plan or didn’t care when we made plans to even check if they were busy that day. That is the first time where I felt truly hurt and what made me realize all the other times I've been wronged by this person. The thing is that we’ve been friends for so long and they know so much about me. They don’t even like Star Wars and are trying to call themselves Baby Yoda stans and that's just not right! Please help an eboy out.

LonelyBabyYodaFan69420

Hello LonelyBabyYodaFan69420! First off, I have to say Baby Yoda has made me come to so many realizations too, one time I saw a meme of him just a picture of his Baby Yoda face saying “I will beat you to a pulp.” I felt that so much that I cut off all ties with my baby cousin because I read the vibes off of Baby Yoda showing me that human babies ain’t shit. Anyways back on topic you’ve come to me for help because your friends also ain’t shit. I, Mirage Coaster, do not trust them. They sound like fugly little shits that cannot be trusted. You shouldn’t be the center of your friend’s life but it’s messed up to be completely and randomly left in the dark. If you are busy and went out of your way to hang out with anyone on your one day off that week and they didn’t even show one ounce of care for you, then well you deserve better king! And that goes for all, kings and queens and jokers in between. We all deserve the same amount of love, care and energy that we put into something. One time I was taking a nap after a hard day of showing how edgy, yet soft I am and I had a crazy dream that I could fly. I flew over to the ocean and punched a pelican right in the face just because I could (disclaimer: I do not support animal abuse; this was a dream). I feel like my dream connects to your experience of having your friends not know your worth and being left alone because I, too, was alone in my dream and that big ass, beaked bird was there taunting me, like your friends were basically taunting you by showing their true colors.

 

Basically, your old stale fake friends are like pelicans not at all vital to your everyday life. You can do better king. Find friends who don’t take you for granted and friends that will seek you out and even notice when you’re feeling off. I have my third eye chakra open and can tell that they probably haven’t even noticed that they made you feel this way. Finally, find yourself some friends who appreciate the god that is Baby Yoda! Baby Yoda > fake friends. Know your worth eboys and egirls. This is Mirage Coaster, signing off.

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